Mamma Mia! (2008)

MERYL STREEP flails around her home amidst all the preparations for wedding of her teen tart daughter, AMANDA SEYFRIED, who’s off rubbing up against her tanned hubby-to-be OILY BOHUNK.

MERYL STREEP
Oh no! Oh heavens! My little minx of a kid is getting married and what does she do? Invite all the men I screwed one summer when I was young slut in order to find out which of the three men—beach bum STELLAN SKARSGARD, completely gay COLIN FIRTH or obvious front runner PIERCE BROSNAN—is her dad! Oh no! I, along with everyone else, shall now get into all sorts of wacky antics of annoying chick-lit lore while warbling along to an ABBA soundtrack.

Everyone goes to the wedding, where it’s super awkward with all these possible dads around.

AMANDA SEYFRIED
(to OILY BOHUNK)
You know what? We’re too young to be getting mixed up in this whole marriage business. Why don’t we just go have lots and lots of kinky crazy sex until I inevitably get knocked up at a young age and we’re forced to settle down?

OILY BOHUNK
Shit, yeah!

PIERCE BROSNAN
Well, hell, let’s not have all these wedding preparations go to waste. MERYL STREEP, I’ve been in love with you for like, twenty years or something. Let’s finally tie the knot!

MERYL STREEP
Oh heavens, why not?

COLIN FIRTH
In conclusion, we’ll all don brightly colored spangled jumpsuits and feign dance steps to a nauseating and embarrassing rendition of “Waterloo” while croaking out the lyrics like a pack of drunks during karaoke night at the local pub. Fin.